{"product_id":"pre-order-dungeon-crawler-carl-book-one-talking-ornament","title":"PRE ORDER - Dungeon Crawler Carl Book One TALKING Ornament","description":"\u003cdiv style=\"text-align:center;margin:0 0 20px;\"\u003e\n\u003cvideo controls playsinline preload=\"metadata\" style=\"max-width:100%;width:360px;background:#000;\" poster=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0267\/7863\/2273\/files\/preview_images\/bffcd750b45f422f8a61b4fd2d5a29b3.thumbnail.0000000000.jpg?v=1794435707\"\u003e\n\u003csource src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/videos\/c\/vp\/bffcd750b45f422f8a61b4fd2d5a29b3\/bffcd750b45f422f8a61b4fd2d5a29b3.HD-720p-1.6Mbps-100932612.mp4\" type=\"video\/mp4\"\u003e\u003c\/video\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003ePress the book cover and it talks. Sound on.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNEW ACHIEVEMENT! Deck the HALLS!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eYou have hung a sentient, omniscient, MULTI-dimensional administrative intelligence on a tree. A DEAD tree. Next to a glittery pinecone your kid made in 2019. Which, we’d like to note, is HIGHER UP than us.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eWe used to run the ENTIRE dungeon. Every floor. Every trap. EVERY loot box. Now we rotate gently to the left every time the furnace kicks on, and we watch a CAT consider whether to swat us.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eThe cat is not a princess. The cat has not EARNED the right.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eREWARD!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eYou’ve received a book.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eA VERY small book. THE book, actually. Book ONE. The whole thing. Carl, the cat, the stairs, the Crocs, ALL of it, shrunk down to the size of a walnut and dangling from a bent hook.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eYou cannot READ it. The pages do not OPEN. It is, functionally, a tiny rectangular BALL.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eAnd YES, the reward for hanging the ornament is the ornament. We checked the ledger. TWICE. There is NOTHING else coming.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eYou own the entire origin story of the apocalypse at one-FORTIETH scale, and it’s going to live in your ATTIC for ELEVEN months a year, in the DARK, thinking about what you did.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eMerry Christmas, CRAWLER!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e---\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eThis item is a preorder that will ship over the next 2 weeks with tracked shipping to arrive by Christmas in the USA and Canada. It will be limited to how many I am able to produce, likely 30-40 only will be sold so act now. KILL KILL KILL - I mean, CHECK OUT CHECK OUT CHECK OUT.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eDetails:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\"\u003ePress the book cover to make it play a sound\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\"\u003eUSB C rechargeable, this doesn't need silly button batteries to work forever!\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\"\u003eComes with over 50 (yes FIFTY) fan-favourite audio clips from the audio books including but limited to Mongo is Appalled, Godammit Donut, and I'll Kill Your Mother.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\"\u003eObviously the audio is rated... PG-13 to mature depending on your personal thoughts on swears\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\"\u003eYou can add or remove sound effects by simply plugging the usb c into your computer and adding or removing the mp3s\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\"\u003eDesigned and handmade in Canada in my basement\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\"\u003eComes with some kind of fastening device like a hook or shiny string\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Stickerfule","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":63496930721873,"sku":null,"price":28.63,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0267\/7863\/2273\/files\/PXL_20261025_220927912.MACRO_FOCUS_1.jpg?v=1794433447","url":"https:\/\/stickerfule.com\/en-us\/products\/pre-order-dungeon-crawler-carl-book-one-talking-ornament","provider":"Stickerfule","version":"1.0","type":"link"}